Subtitles to original An Amble in Powell Park with Chris n’ Dan:
C: Wha-what are – what are you doing?
D: I’m lost. I’m like in the middle of the freaking woods. We’re never going to get out of here. A road!
We’re saved. Come on. We’re almost out of here, Chris, come on.
C: Eh, screw that.
C: Let’s get out of here.
D: The hell?
Ow. Should’ve put on some bug repellent.
Yeah, there’s a bug in my eye.
How’d we get in a swamp anyway?
Uh, swamp’s like everywhere.
There’s copperhead rattlesnake. The copperhead… no cophead snake right there in the water. Do you see it by the edge?
My god. Let’s get out of here.
Do you see that snake?
I SEE THE FREAKING SNAKE…
Take a picture of it.
20 minutes of walking out the swamp.
D: We encountered a copperhead rattlesnake.
C: Hey a bag!
C: Oh, it’s empty.
D: Wanna go fight that lion?
C: [shrugs] Sure.
D: Okay. Back we go.
D: Hey Chris…
D: There’s a playground right there.
D: Go get it boy. Go get the playground Chrissy.
D: such a happy child.
D: Here we see the wild Chris Zambelis in his natural habitat, enjoying everything he sees around him, being all part of the natural ecosystem.
C: Boobies! Boobies!
D: We hear his natural mating call. Unfortunately no females are around. Such an interesting creature.
D: Aw man, I forgot my wallet in there.
D: I’m gonna… I’m gonna have to climb the fence to get it. Door’s locked.
C: Uh Da- Daniel?
D: Naw I got it this time.
C: Uh, ee, …
D: Ow. Man. My knee.
How’d – how did you get get over there?
C: Climbed the fence.
D: Damn! You’re fast.
C: I’m Greek.
D: It’s true.
C: Behold the ever-crested butterfly, in it’s natural…
D: [smacks shoe near butterfly] Come back here you son of a b…
The right pine cone. Nature’s dildo.
C: And then I throw the pine cone at the tree. You ready?
D: Right, I’m ready.
C: Watch this. [throws pine cone]
D: Holy crap.
C: Plan worked.
C: What… Whatcha doing Daniel?
D: I’m gonna climb this pole.
Oh, uh, shit, buh!
C: The pool is really gross.
D: Yeah it is. Let’s go.
C: [weird grin]
[Dan dances across the street]
C: Div-ih-did high w…
D: Great, we’re lost.
C: We’re… yes. Stoppe. We’re in Stoppe.
D: Is that like in Europe?
C: I think?
C: Um, we’re in front of Hillary’s house. We don’t know why. D-Daniel, what-what are you doing?
D: I was going to pee on it.
C: Not today. You want to just go sit on the bench and sing songs?
Both sing: We were sailing along, we were sailing along.
C: Boy this adventure sure was great, eh Daniel?
D: Sure was, Chris. We wouldn’t have been able to make it without our friendship.
C: And boobs.